Sit and Spin & Eat the Puffs


For three days

I was wondering why my butt hurt.

I am sitting too much, I realized.

This “Sit and Spin”, or “Shelter in Place” thing is really messing with my life.

I am eating Cheeto Puffs now.

I think I'm addicted.

Another chin is growing.

And I have started biting my nails again.

I'm not nervous though.

Just bored.

I have been filling my day with good things.Tony Robbins.

Who is totally my Guru.

The Michelle Obama book.

Love her.

I bet she didn't bite her finger nails though.

I'm going to write her a fan letter.

And I am doing something different every day.

Like oil painting

or teaching Andrew how to cook,

or starting a dream journal.

Yesterday I started to exercise so my butt wouldn't hurt as much.

The exercise made my neck hurt worse than my butt,

so I guess it worked.

My butt doesn't hurt as much as it did.

Now I'm icing my neck.

Yay for me!

I am going to keep stretching and leg lifting.

My Guru (the one that says he is NOT my Guru) says it is the thing I should be doing.

I have always known he was right.

The last time I sat this much was when my mama died and

my legs and lungs got all clotted up with blood.

I could have died.

Birth control helped too, but sitting was the big, ugly monster.


I don't have to bite my finger nails.

It's a nervous habit I have needed to break.

Since 4th grade.

Nor do I have to eat Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream.

But just try and stop me!

This time we're all facing is really weird.

We are all supposed to be staying indoors so we don't spread the virus,

but many people aren't.

In fact the roads around here look like they do on a Sunday afternoon.

Cars just driving all around and going shopping.

Scientist say the worst is yet to come,

and the “president” says “It's not so bad”.

“Scientists for a thousand Alex!”

That leaves us all very confused...

Fact is, all of us beautiful and imperfect people are trying to deal with a situation

that we have never faced before.

So we comfort ourselves.

We fill our days with good.

We work.

We worry.

We try not to worry.

We eat Cheetos.

We try not to go mad.

But hey-

If you are one of those that is succeeding keeping your head in a positive space, reach out.

Reach out every day to one or two people by phone.

Dear God

don't be asshole and text them!

Call them!

The least I can do while sitting here on my sore ass

is pick up a phone and call my friend or family member to make sure

they are not falling into



or having to wipe their butt

with bath towels...

I called two people today.

I also put googly eyes on pictures all around my house.

Just so my family can find them.

We also played a game of drop the clothespin into the jar.

A game I played at a birthday party when I was 6 years old.

I was the winner at Debbie Beddell's party in 1973.

But tonight, Andrew and Jason tied.

In the gripping final round Andrew came out ahead and won bragging rights.

Everyone wins in our house.

We all got Cadbury eggs for participation and Andrew got to claim himself

“The Wiener”.

Play silly games.

Let everyone be the winner.

Laugh much. Love much. Grow yourself. Reach out.

Be unashamedly silly.


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